Wednesday, July 1, 2009

how to get a boyfriend

Sacrifice and compromise are both critical parts in the give and take that goes hand in hand with any relationship. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?" then you are going to need to keep these things in mind. Nothing is going to make mending a broken relationship simple, but some of the advice contained within this article can certainly make it a lot less difficult overall to give him a reason to want to come back to you.

So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, "how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?", what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.

So, How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?

When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend", then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.

Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn't do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.

You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?

Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.

Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won't happen unless you are willing to take action. Now! 

how to get a boyfriend

Sometimes a relationship ends when it shouldn't. If you're looking to get back an ex boyfriend, you'll need to know the right moves to make... and the wrong moves to avoid at all costs. Winning back an ex is possible no matter how you broke up, or how long ago it happened.

We've all had heartbreak, and we've all felt the pain of lost love. But at the same time, most women just sit back and watch the man they love walk away from them. Why do that, when there's ways to fight for your man back? Getting back with your ex is always possible. Before you doubt that statement, just think: thousands of couples get reconnected each day. When looking to make up with your ex boyfriend, the following three steps are a fantastic start:

STEP 1 - Start by accepting your breakup. This sounds simple, but often it's not. Many women refuse to believe their relationship is over, and end up trying to hang onto something that's not there. Your ex will see you doing this and be very much turned off by it. Desperation and denial are not desirable traits, and your exboyfriend will see you in much different (and more pitiful) light for it. No matter how badly you feel about him dumping you, you'll need to suck it up and accept that it happened before you can even think of getting back together with your ex.

STEP 2 - Disappear from his sight. When a guy breaks up with a girl, he's looking to see her reaction. Whether he acts like he cares or not, he wants to see you depressed, forlorn, and feeling badly that you're not with him anymore. His not being vindictive here, this is purely for his ego. His mind wants to convince him that he's something to be desired... seeing you depressed makes him believe this. Don't let that happen.

By disappearing from view, suddenly your ex is wondering what you're up to. The biggest part of getting back together with your ex involves making him want you back. By not seeing you and wondering what you're up to (and who you're with), you're keeping yourself on his mind without seeing or contacting him. This is a huge asset later on, during the process of how to win back an ex boyfriend.

STEP 3 - Take away his safety net. No matter how badly you broke up or how final it might seem, your ex always wants to know the door is open, on your end, just in case he wants to go back. Guys know they make mistakes, so it's always nice to realize you can go backward and rekindle your romance if you change your mind. You might think it's a good idea for you to leave that door open for him, but actually it's just the opposite! By closing that door, your ex will begin to panic that you won't always be around.

If you lay low after the breakup, your ex might seek you out. If he gives you the dreaded offer to be "friends", you've got to at first refuse it. If he tries to make casual contact such as picking up something he left at your house, you've got to blow him off. He needs to realize (and be scared by) the fact that maybe the breakup is final on his end too. Don't let him contact you saying he's "worried about you" or anything like that - he's more worried about himself, and the fact that his relationship safety net is suddenly gone. All guys want to know they can go back into an ex-relationship - by taking this away from him it's a big step toward making your ex boyfriend want you back.

how to get a boyfriend

Getting over strong feelings for your ex can be a very hard task to do. Even after a while your heart keeps longing for him/her, but on the other hand your mind tells you that getting back together may cause you unnecessary pain and sufferings.

No one can give you a definite answer to the question, "Should I get back together with my ex?" You have to find this answer inside of you. However, there are certain clues that can help you to make the right decision about whether you want to attempt saving this relationship or not.

You definitely don't want to get back with your ex if in the past he/she used violence or mental abuse. In this case, no matter how many promises this person is making, there is no sense in exposing yourself to the future possible danger.

Any promises that your ex partner is making, he/she should prove by actions, not by words. For example, if your ex has cheated on you several times during your relationship, there is a very high possibility that he/she will do it again. By giving him/her second, third... tenth chance you are setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak.

It is also not a good idea to get back with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend if you broke up a short time ago and still feel that your emotions are too tangled and complex to make a rational decision. Give yourself some time and space to think things over. Usually it is suggested that you take a months break for every year that you have spent together with your ex partner.

If after that time you will decide that you can meet someone better, then there is no point of getting back. But if you still feel strong incompatibility between the two of you and your ex feels the same way about you, you should definitely give your relationship a second try.

Sometimes we end the relationship under the influence of impulse, because we are tired of fighting or simply want to hurt another person. Later we can realize that we have made a mistake and that we still want to be with that person. In this case I suggest you discuss your feelings honestly with your ex and do everything possible to save this relationship!

Someone has once said that, light cannot exist without darkness, just like love cannot exist without a breakup. Only when we are apart with the beloved one, we can fully understand and appreciate the meaning of true love. If you still love your ex, don't let this beautiful feeling die, fight for it!