Sunday, March 6, 2011

Should I leave my boyfriend after our baby is born?

I have been with him almost 8 years. Everything was great at first and slowly went downhill- we fought all the time, drifted apart, etc. Last year I was diagnosed with reproductive issue and was told I couldnt have kids- I was devastated. Then, in November, I found out I was pregnant- which to me, was a miracle from God- especially since test after test showed i was NOT pregnant (I hadnt had a period in seven months). ANyway, when I told him the news he freaked out, kept pressuring me to have anabortion, over and over and pver again- I refused. (How could he ask that of me after I thought I was sterile??)

When he saw I wouldn’t budge, he started verbally abusing me, calling me names, bombarding me with text messages, ignoring me, etc. Now, we live on opposite sides of the house, sleep in separate rooms, etc. we do NOT speak to each other- we live like roommates. I give him a check for rent every month and thats the extent of our relationship.

We had a heart to heart a month or so ago- I asked him why he was acting this way? He said he didnt deserve to have kids and had a rough childhood and didnt want to bring kids into this world; and he didnt think we were right for each other. I explained to him that we would make great parents, if we work at it. Things were OK for a few days, then he went back to ignoring me. I’ve literally had NO attention from him during my entire pregnancy. He has told me he hates me, i ruined his life, he doesnt want to be with me any more, etc. He goes to the appointments, and that’s it. I dont think he has ever felt his baby boy kick.

I’m at the point now, where I cant live like this any more. All the prayer in the world has kept me here, hoping he would have a change of heart. But, things are still bad. I have also stayed because i was mean to him through the relationship and realize I did wrong too. But I refuse to put a child through this chaos. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like i’m all alone in the world and I am confused. Everyone tells me he’ll get over it when the baby is born. But i dont want to stay together JUST because there is a new baby- but because we love each other, and i dont think thats the case anymore. This is the first mother’s day where he didnt get me a card or wish me happy mothers day or anything (i have a kid from a previous marriage). any advice? I could really use some… I dont have very many friends that I confide in. thanks

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